Pope-a-geddon. Pope-ocalypse. Pope-apalooza.
Call it what you want. Pope Francis is definitely the coolest pope we’ve had in a long time, but he really knows how to cramp a city’s style and infrastructure, not unlike a massive blizzard or hurricane.
Since getting around Philly is going to be an Orwellian nightmare of unimaginable proportions for anyone who isn’t enraptured with the idea of a pilgrimage on foot across the city, most of use are either hunkering down at home or hightailing it out of town until the holy smoke clears. If you are in the latter category, may we recommend the Lodge at Woodloch in the Poconos, 109 River Birch Lane, Hawley, as the ideal place to ride out the papal storm?
This isn’t your parents’ Pocono getaway. The picturesque, award-winning resort is nestled in a tranquil 150-acre woodland setting near a private lake. They take relaxation and luxury seriously — from the moment you pull up to the security checkpoint at the foot of the driveway to the infinitely depressing moment you have to bid farewell and slink, misty-eyed and convulsing with unfathomable grief, back to the stressful, agonizing death march that is your regular life. And it should be noted that this resort is geared toward individuals and couples. Their more family-oriented sister resort, The Woodland Pines Resort, is down the road.
Guests can opt for a number of physical activities, ranging from hiking, kayaking, yoga and other fitness and wellness classes (we highly recommend the juicing seminars, which fill up quickly … no pun intended). Or, if physical exertion isn’t your thing, you can get pampered to the gills with an expansive menu of massages, facials and relaxation treatments at their world-class spa. The male and female sides of the spa areas offer their own steam rooms, saunas and hot tubs adjacent to the locker rooms. And the communal pool and atrium hot tub offer a relaxing view of the surrounding woods.
Then there is the food, courtesy of the TREE restaurant and bar, featuring a wide range of fare including numerous vegan and gluten-free options. The produce for the restaurant is locally sourced from the resort’s garden. They also have their own beehives. On Thursday nights, you can try and land a spot at the resort’s garden dinner, set up in the middle of their resorts garden and featuring whatever executive chef Josh Tomson can whip up from the garden that day. During this dinner, you’ll probably see more that a few deer wander close to the garden, who don’t seem fazed or frightened by the humans gathered there sipping wine. Seriously, you’d think Snow White lives somewhere nearby in the forest.
So, if you are trying to escape the virtual lockdown of Philadelphia, there’s no better place to decamp and decompress than The Lodge at Woodloch. Please take us with you.
For more information, visit http://www.thelodgeatwoodloch.com.