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An LGBTQ foster-parent recruitment session to encourage more LGBTQ people to open their homes to children in need attracted an “overwhelming” number of agencies and more than 50 prospective and inquiring couples, families and single people. 

As a black gay man, sex has always been a particularly awesome experience for me. It’s the greatest fundamental part of being gay, of being a cisgender — to have sex without the consequences of getting someone pregnant. The fact that I could have a hookup without worrying about reproduction is something I know my hetero counterparts envy about me.


However, I’ve noticed how the hunting for mates on hookup apps can be exhausting. The engagement is slim to none, and the cycles of loneliness creep in. Then it starts all over again — the cycle continues like all addictions. Hookup apps have become an obsession.

The importance of being a “real masculine man” on hookup apps has always puzzled me. Why is femininity viewed as a weakness and undesirable? I know so many gay men who pride themselves on how masculine they are. There is a whole category dedicated to how masculine gay black men can be in the ballroom scene called “Realness!”

However, this high demand for masculinity puts men like me who may not fit the unyielding gender social constructs at an innate disadvantage on hookup apps.

I know when I am on dating apps, I have one of two choices to make: Be myself or give my best Boyz in the Hood impression. In my experience on apps, I can honestly say it takes a real man to be a fem-top.

The inherent sexism of gay men is troubling to see in online queer-dating spaces because, as LGBTQ people of color, we should know better. Being gay does not give you a pass to be openly sexist. Most queer blacks know the sting of social isolation, yet we isolate other LGBTQ people of color in online dating communities.

I have a vision one day to date in a world where femininity holds the same value as masculinity. So, when a guy meets me online and in person, nothing is lost in translation — I am the real man they want, not the man designed by societal standards and social constructs. 

Antar Bush is a public-health advocate, professor at West Chester University and executive producer of OUTPour LGBTQ. He is committed to advocating for health equity in all communities. Follow him on Instagram @antarbushmswmph.

Attorneys for Catholic Social Services filed an appeal with the U.S. Supreme Court requesting an emergency order for the resumption of foster-child referrals from the city, even though CSS won’t place those children with same-sex couples.

Philly Vegan Pop Flea, a pop-up vegan market, hosted its first-ever Queerly Vegan, which gave new and emerging LGBTQ vegan-business owners a platform to showcase their brands.

Philadelphia police this week declined to explain questionable paperwork in the Nizah Morris homicide that officers involved in a courtesy ride given to Morris shortly before she was found with a fatal head wound submitted to their supervisors.

It took two Catering by Design event staffers to carry the massive “Community Salad Bowl” through the crowd of hundreds of guests assembled at Wall Ball, a fundraiser for Mural Arts Philadelphia. As the dish — which each of the guests got the chance to add ingredients to in the spirit of the beneficiary’s community-minded work — weaved its way over the heads of the crowd, Brooke Lutz ducked in and out of the packed room at the Fillmore, snapping photos of the procession.

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