The Closing of the Year
by Jim Kiley-Zufelt
Jan 03, 2013 | 892 views | 0 0 comments | 8 8 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Happy New Year, everybody! Congratulations, we all survived both the Mayan Apocalypse and the Zombie Apocalypse (a.k.a. Romney/Ryan ’12).

Now’s the time when we look back at everything we did in the old year and look forward to what we hope for in the new.

Last year was a bittersweet year for me. There were some amazing highs but also some really difficult lows. At the end of it all, one thing was driven home to me more clearly than ever before: The most important thing in the world is family. It doesn’t matter if they’re chosen or blood. Keep them close, and it will make your highs feel higher and your valleys seem not so low.

I have big plans for 2013 both personally and professionally, but really only one resolution: I’ve simply got to clean my house before the casting director of “Hoarders” hears about me.

Fifty Shades of Gay

Get your new year off to a glittery, fabulous start with those hotties from Liberty City Kings, starting 8 p.m. Jan. 5 at Tabu, 200 S. 12th St.

Their first show of 2013 has been christened “Fifty Shades of Gay” so you know it’s going to be a hoot. The award-winning regulars you’ve come to know and love will be joined by special guest star Roma Mafia, Baltimore’s Fiercest Femme.

Cover is only $8 if you come dressed in drag or kink gear, $10 if not and $5 after 11. Hang out after the show for your chance to stalk the performers and dance to the sounds of DJ Evil V.


No, not that kind of church! Gurrl, please—I ain’t been to Sunday Mass since Nancy Reagan was in the White House.

Church is a party featuring classic house music on the first Sunday of every month. That means the first party of the new year will be at 4 p.m. Jan. 6 at Woody’s, 202 S. 13th St. This is house music the way it was meant to be (the way Nancy Reagan would want it!), in all its retro glory, presented to you in style by Mike Maserati, Super DJ Terrell Clark and Tony White.

Doors open at 4 p.m. and cover is only $10, but you have to be 21 or over to enter.

Jock Strap Night

Looking for a way to warm up those cold winter nights? Then strap on your favorite jock and get your ass over to The Bike Stop, 206 S. Quince St., any Monday from 10 p.m. to close.

If you don’t have a favorite jock, you can pick one up from the bartender when you get there. Then you can stash your jeans in the coat check and hang out with the guys like you’re in a classic Drummer fantasy or a hot Tom of Finland casting call. Sound silly? Well, then obviously you’ve never tried it! Give it a chance and you might be surprised to find out how much you like it. There’s no cover charge, so what have you got to lose?

Philly Jacks

Want to get a little friskier than even jock-strap night allows? Then check out Philly Jacks, the area’s longest-running safe-sex party for men by far. They’ve been going at it for almost 20 years!

Suggested donation at the door is only $10, which gets you refreshments, secure clothing check and a cool, laidback time with dozens of hot men.

They meet four times every month — on the first and third Wednesdays, the Tuesday in between and the Sunday after. Sound confusing? It’s not; just check out for exact dates and to sign up for their mailing list.

Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend

If you’re a friend of the leather community, then you know the biggest party on the East Coast is Mid-Atlantic Leather, or MAL, held every January in Washington, D.C. It’s one weekend jam-packed with formal cocktail parties, informal meet-and- greets, late-night dance parties, over-the-top play spaces, a vendor mart, a leather contest and literally hundreds of the hottest men you’ve ever laid eyes on from all over the country.

What you may not know is this year they changed the date. Traditionally held the same weekend as Martin Luther King Jr. Day, this year organizers bumped it up a week to Jan. 11-14 to avoid conflicting with the presidential inauguration. They didn’t think to do that four years ago and, trust me, it’s a good thing they did this time.

It can be an expensive weekend (I have a couple of friends who spent a week in Rome for less than it cost them for a weekend at MAL), but it’s worth it. And if you do it right, you can find a way to do it affordably.

For a complete schedule and links to weekend registration and hotel information, check out

Questions, comments, tricky New Year’s resolutions that you need help keeping? Contact Jim at or follow him on Facebook for links to back articles and bitchin’ old pop-music videos!

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